Touchy Feelies

Allo Crusty muffin tops.

So  today.. as per too often.. I basically did the limbo when it came to standing up for my "eat better/be sexy" goals. I came off the subway, and faster than a group of lawyers clearing a pooted elevator, I was in el cheapo pizza shop.   It's not that the pizza is even that great there.. except when you're really hungry.. hell dusty rocks I'm sure taste fantabulous when your belly growls like a heard of tuna escaping a sharks maw... but still.. the cheese is.. unremarkable.. the dough is chewy but dry. Oh, and it's floppier than a flaccid cock. K no.. not really. But kinda. This is a slightly unique place in that, should you so choose, you basically end up with Pizza Shwarma. It's very common to see people with their slice o 'gluten goop  covered in a mound of shwarma chicken, drenched in 2.1 stars rating garlic sploodge. Optional toppings are .. things I don't actually know the names of. Mediterranean's items that my tongue stays away from.

The best thing about this place, is the price. Two slices of pizza covered in a pile o'chicken bits was just over $4. The other fantastic thing about this place is that it's always warm. Too warm for the workers I'm afraid. No doubt many people have inadvertently consumed a few drops of Eau' de 'Hu-maan as an accidental extra topping. Oops. I try not to think of it, and hope I've not been a victim  Supposedly, every one of us that's reached adulthood, that lives in even the most modestly populated environs has consumed at least one item of someone elses body, most commonly swear, hair, snot or spit. If you're really unlucky.. fingernails.. or.. well.. I'm feeling nice. I'll spare you the really gross stuff. You're welcome.  

So beyond that, the interesting thing that happened.. or rather my observation of my stupidly intelligent race today, was how very easily we all get our backs up if we think we've been misheard /may have done / said something wrong. A rather portly aged fellow was asking for .. whatever his order was. She that delivers food tried to clarify, as she wasn't sure if he wanted dead gobblers on his pizza, as well as an amputated leg, or just one or the other. He clarified, but the tone in which he responded .. well it was like he'd gone into panic mode, as in if he was about to fail a test for which the penalty was death and dismemberment. His voice went up an octave higher, and the ... anxiety, or anger in his voice skyrocked from cool polite gentleman to immediately reaching the peak assent of the behemoth roller coaster in a single breath. I'm sure I've done this myself in the past.

What is it about our society that makes it so ...wrong.. to be wrong?? We avoid it like 3 week old rotting fish guts. Imply that the stranger or family member in front of you has said or done something slightly incorrect, and.. wow!! It's like the last few rounds in a 2 hour monopoly game before someone flips the board. Why must we be so right all the time? I have a hard time seeing how this might have been hardwired into our brain at some early point. So.. is it a cultural thing or a geneology thing? 

I'm going to try to pay more attention to the little phenomena more often, in others and in myself. The stress we create from something so simple.. I swear it could give heart attacks at the intensity I see it. I'm very curious to find out if this is a "Toronto" thing or not.

In other news.. I can't believe this.. but I SWEAR Mr. Hot Stuff in slightly interested in me. He just seems to be nice to me.. and.. he just doesn't seem to be the type to do nice. He's always coming up with little ways to touch me too. I got a jockular shoulder shove today.. which are great.. I get to give them back, and some knuckles when he left. And a half joking, 1% serious proposition. I've never played hard to get.. I've never been on the the standoffish side of the fence, but I think I am starting to see why some love it so much. I think he's attracted to the good qualities/aspects he admires in me, but .whatever. As D.F would say.. you can only recognize in others what you have in yourself. I wonder if this is part of his struggle. I don't care. It's a bit thrilling, though sad too, I can't see how it'd work out. Oh well. Guess I should charge.. the black torture. Yes. I just named my vibrator. Seems like it needed a name. Aberta-HO to the land of ice and snow and... men!!!! A husband hunting I will go.. or ... I'd settle for some good passionate cuddling sessions!!!! Nakedly.

.......................Now I want a thunder cats T-shirt. Dammit.

Mood: Full. Music : In my head.. Fiddle tunes and Mumford and sons. 

Early morning musings and notes

Notes from the net:
Fall in love when you're ready, not when you're lonely.

In life you'll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Ask yourself this:  "What's something I have that everyone wants?"and be thankful for your richness.

Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! 

The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.

MAKE A LIST:

 So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have. - my own spacious place in a lit environment.

be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

In the vein of the above:

I feel.. eternally thankful for having met Paul, to have him in my life this short while. I feel he's given me so much.. hope in a way.. that there are people for me to connect with, love and appreciate, and admire as a guide for who I want to be.  I was in a place of despair..  despairing for people like him, like myself.. I was so lonely for .. understanding. I was lost ina sea of people I didn't get.. and didn't feel free to "be me" in. But I see in him someone with the same kind of energy I have, a similarity in "oddness", and I hope I understand at least some aspects of him, and I love him and cherish him. I know it will be brief, but I feel recharged in hope, that I'll find more people to relate with as life goes on. I have my memories, and perhaps two more months of examples to aspire and be guided by. I thank the universe for bringing him into my life. I'm sad that it will likely be brief, but I feel new hope,  a new point of reference, and that things are perfectly okay the way they are. I also feel at this moment "freed from my obsession" as it were.. moving more into a wholesome appreciation. Thankfully! Finally! Hopefully such things won't take so long from now on. I'll definitely have to watch for this in the future. I guess ultimately . I don't feel alone in the universe anymore.. in ways I feel like the only one 'of my breed" so to speak. ... k.. I'm not explaining it well. I guess I don't understand myself. I was alone, sad and distraught.. now I feel at peace, knowing there are others. 

Healing thyself: Step 1: Get comfortable with crying, allowing yourself to cry, and loving it. As this seems to be the main gate way.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/

Maybe this'll just be a short one...

This little thing I'm about to recount (patience o readers.. patience) has happened enough times that it's really struck me as odd. Perhaps I'm just being a little egotistical here, but I'd like to think not. Twice today I had strangers approach me for information. The first instance was simply a lady asking me how to go east so that she could go south to Union on the subway. I know that doesn't really seem odd.. but then, there were easily 20 other people there on the semi crowded platform she could have approached. Yes, I know that isn't  too odd of itself, however I feel this happens to me on a freakishly regular occasion. Asking for info from a stranger.. sure happens all the time. However it seems people skip by the other ambling pedestrians surround ing them, and somehow pick me out of the crowd to ask their questions and look for guidance. Or in many cases.. ask for smokes/money/crack..

K.. yea.. kidding on the crack part. But I have been asked for any spare donut I had that I was currently eating but a overly lardenated personage on the subway once... (my heart went out to him.. he undeniably had eating and self control issues.. poor buggers.. are brain's aren't so magical when you think of it the way we're enslaved by various maladies ..) Right. Back to my first story. Seemingly unusually large numbers of people approaching me to steer them right. Poor woeful fools. I mostly do right by em. Mostly.

It's just odd.. I can't think of a single instance where I noticed someone ask help of say, the stranger next to me, it's always me. So what is it about me that screams "friendly helpful person you should trust" ?Is there some neon and gloworm flashing sign replete with glowing arrow that hovers above my head visible to all but me?  The second time it happened.. I wasn't too surprised..I was the only person. Still twice in one day.. and on many other days.. I'm picked out of a fairly decent crowd. Now if only the lottary would show me such love.

yeesh.

Other than that.. it was a rather uneventful day.. just your usual . I have gotten up at a decent time the last two days.. enjoyed my morning.. consisting of actually eating breakfast and showering . shocker. Might have something to do with starting at 8:30 rather than 7:30. I find that I don't mind the shift as much as I thought I would, though the company of certain people definitely help. Speaking of coworkers, P mentioned that he'd taken the coffee  home to show Y. That was kinda awesome. Apparently she'd told him she didn't think he'd be any decent at the whole Supervisor gig, and so he was kinda along the lines of "Oh yea?? see? I get gifts! Nanner!". And apparently I"m now thought to be .. well "talented"... is I believe the descriptive used. If only. Oh, and the %100 Caca o was her fav. Both of theirs actually.  So glad I re-did that one. I mentioned how I was going to add "extra creamy".. and P thought I was about to say extra corny.. I guess I just feel I'm on that level of relationship with him.. ick. Anyway. Now if only life could routinely involve such fun projects for cool appreciate people. Oh wait.. I just uttered a positive in reference to the demon who walks the earth. He'd never approve. Master Jerkface it is. Anyway. Among our end of day time sux vortex blabbering  he offered to help me with a resume/cover letter, and write me a letter of rec. Sandi  said she'd do one too, now that she's moving on. That'll help the portfolio look just a tad more impressive, or so I hope.

And the final tidbit I can think of.. before I bore your eyes out with the next five neuron jumble goop that pops into my head, is that  I saw that horridly twisted and mutated doll ad again. Everything was as terrible as I'd remembered . mostly looking very impressive.. it's like the original sculpturer died right before he finished the arm.. and some amateur or CEO rather finished it off.

K well. Toodles.

That's all for now.

Expect to mention that I"m excited to have bought some very bright derby tights this evening, that likely wont' fit. Oh well. Still excited. Double header on Saturday! Woot!

Warning.. ultra negativity follows

So.. just a warning. Assuming anyone ever stumbles upon my little bloggity blog .. you should likely stay clear of ones where the title gives some sort of warning against negativity. Normally I'd post this type of entry as close-to-the-public-eyes, but I did state in my first post, and still intend , to let this be the one place I can let loose all of the crazy ass thoughts running through my head. All of me. so. You've been warned.

For one thing.. I often use writing to make decisions, or come to turns with things in life I" trying to get through or heal. It's a huge outlet.

SO let's see.. why am I in such a pissy mood today? Well.

Dave had emailed be a few days ago asking for help with learning a tune. I more often than not find that he inconveniences me when I see him.. but meh. Whatever. I haven't actually spent much time with him in months, and so I said sure. Of course, I felt I had to try and serve him a decent meal, since I've had so many lovely ones at his place. Now enters my own complete stupidity. I'd thought it would be great if I could serve him the supreme mushroom risotto in a bow of squash that I'm made very successfully in the past. The kicker here is that I had a hypnotherapy session from 2-3pm. And Dave was suppose to be here at 5:30. Throw in an hour of travel time between my appointment and home, and the fact that my apartment wasn't overly tidy.. I turned to the interwebs and found a handy-dandy recipe for crock-pot risotto. The plan was to have both the squash and risotto cooking with I was gone. In perhaps one of the absolute stupidest moment of my life, I thought the squash would be just fine to  cook at 350  in the oven while I went away. I must have been thinking of pumpkin or turkey.. anyway I get to halfway to my appointment,, and call dear old mom wondering if I'm foolishly about to burn the place down. After talking with her, and at this point reaching my station, I head back home to turn off the oven. I warned the Dr's I be "15+" minutes late. Knowing I wouldn't' get there until at least 2:30 for a 2pm.. and that was positive. Whatever. So the hypnotherapy goes well, only I think he played the wrong tape.. there was nothing about weight loss in it. Whatever. I go to the grocery, and pick up a second squash just in case, wine as a gift, and a on -sale strawberry cream pie. Of course a fat assed woman pretty much sits on it on the bus.. so it gets home mildly intact. At least the wine didn't break. SO once home, I discover that no, you  can't leave risotto in a crock pot  on low for 2.5 hours,  or it turns to absolute mush. I quickly attempted the same generally idea but with rice in the rice cocker.. it was so. I put it in the squash, which by this point was extremely dry. I didn't know squash could be so dry. So anyway. the entire fucking dinner was a disaster. At least perhaps now Dave will believe me when I say I can't cook.. and I'll be off the hook for future food preps.

Anyway so things were going fairly well. He got his songs.. stated in a roundabout way how he thinks I've improved.. but then stats in on how suck my apartment is.. how it had so much potential .. if I'd just do this and that.. like.. fuck man. You're place is pretty pathetic.. so shut the fuck up already will ya?? Or course it turns into my pretty much lack of a job.. or career rather.. implying my pathetic near poverty.. .. and just fuckity fuck. That's right. I've hit the mid thirties.. and I have no career, no relationship, no money, crappy living situation. yup. Living the FUCKING DREAAM! Thanks Dave. Do come back soon. So I get into work today, to find a number of pleasurable emails that could be suitable to print out as toilet paper.

That I can think of, two, possibly three full timers are moving on in various ways, two supervisors are going off to do other jobs up stairs, fucking Chantal and Suzanne will be moving up to acting supervisors.. and Me?? well.. there's been a hiring freeze. Thank you fucking world.

SO I was pretty sad shall we say today. Started thinking of the whole early grave  designation again. But it'd be such a pain. I don't want my family to suffer. So what the hell do you do?? Mom? Sibs.. I'm sorry but as you know my life has totally sucked these last 25 years, I can't get ahead, I don't have money to go back to school and sustain myself.. and really.. with NOTHING FUCKING going for me, I've kind of decided to quit the party early. I'm sure you understand. Please don't cry. *Sigh. But assuming I don't want them to be upset, . .I'd have to clear out my apartment, so that they wouldn't have to do that.. and get rid of everything.. and all that crap.  Pay off my taxes and my credit cards, make sure my lease was over.. and on and on. What a flipping pain. And of course.. there's.. how to go about it?? Today I was thinking that a nice whopping heroin overdose could be fun.. or some other drug that would put me out fast and painlessly. I'm so effing tired of this world.. tired.. of trying so hard for what seems like basic little things.. and getting nowhere.. and constantly feeling disappointed. I just can't seem to win.. so.. why bother right? How pathetic to think my life is just going to be.. this.. for the next.. fuck. 40 years?? If I'm lucky a lot sooner..

Anyway. I was thinking.. I should set a number on it. 45-46 max. That should give me a good margin of time. I'll get to see my nieces/nephews grow up a bit, and seriously, in 10+ years.. if I don't have someone in my life that I'm in love with/returned, or a job where I 'm happy either career wise or making a shit tone of money, or I don't own a business.. well fuck. Seriously. That's all she wrote. Maybe I'll high tale it down to an island after all.. and just.. stay. I should really do that. Go somewhere tropical.. really forget all my cares.. and just.. party till the time comes. That'd be fantastic.  I could just disappear.. be a murder victim. That'd be awesome! I don't think having your relatives murdered is quite as traumatic as suicide.. is it?? Now where could I post that poll??? 

Anyway. Yup. My life sucks. For any hypothetical reader reference, someone once said something that made a lot of sense to me: There are 3 things that really ground a person to life: Mortgages, Marriage and Munchkins. Now.. we can certainly play loosely with those terms. But generally, those are the things that keep you invested in life. I'd like to add into that a carreer, or a life spent doing what you love. You can either work for it, or do it as a hobby (if you have the job to afford doing so..), but either way, something you love. A place of your own..some large thing that is yours. A meaningful relationship where you get to demonstrate and receive intimacy. And something that needs you.. kids or perhaps puppies. Now I can see how there would be people out there who have all of this are and just dying to get away from it all and find a little adventure. Still.

So.. I could be having adventure, but I'm too broke. The only potential marriage I had in my future died about 7 fucking years ago yesterday. Thanks asshole. I'm still so fucking pissed at you and blame you for hating my life still. Jerkoff. Anyway.. I"m sure the point is clear. There's nothing holding me to this life, except to be marginally included in the lives of my siblings, that I worry will increasingly exclude me as they more firmly drift to themselves and mom is less and less the glue that brings us all together. Whatever. When that happens, I truely will be able to kiss a bullet guilt free. I digress. All I"m saying here is.. Life . I've been trying. You know I have. You've dealt me a whole shit load of fuck all. Give me a goddamn reason to live, and to enjoy life, or I'm out. I'm tired of living in this rat whole, never able to afford anything that makes life better, too few people to be close too.. Yes it could all be worse, and really I don' t have it so bad.. so long as I keep my standards super fucking low, and never want anything like.. oh vacations or a car or  place not full of mice and bugs and ceiling leaks, oh and cupbord and counter space, and a fridge that works right and not live in a place that looks like it belongs in a ghetto. Right  Yep. I'm doing so dman well.  Really though.. it's gotta get better than it is if I'm to stay around. I'm really, really, tired of this shit.

The scary thing that happened today: During subway rides these last few weeks, I've noticed myself noticing this one add. I think it's for travel  or perhaps a bank. I'm honestly not sure. I guess the advertisement isn't so effective. What is memorable however, is the figure on the poster. Basically, today, like other days, it caught my eye.. well no not with a fishhook or anything.. but it did catch my and.. and hold it (no, not with hands). So I"m looking at it, and I"m impressed, as I realize that it must be a plastic model , like id given an pathetic attempt at doing. Once I realize that, my interest level skyrocketed a few pips.. and I"m really inspecting it. This is when it dawns on me what had been so fundamentally disturbing in the shot to my lower level brain: in the doll is posed so that she is playing a guitar. But the way her left hand is molded.. is just.. creepy. There's no definition on the far side, and it is so bloody long, that if it were taken off the head stock and extended to her side.. her hand would be well below her knee. It just gave me the creeps. I have to wonder: If someone was commissioned to make a doll for a big add.. why would they do it so oddly disproportional  The whole thing was simply so very wrong!! I am eager for the day those adds are all removed .. I'll never have to see it again! It truly kinda terrorized me on some level.. as though some mad scientist got a hold of this poor soul.. amputated her arm.. stretched it a 2 sizes longer, and re-attached it.. and now she's horribly disfigured. Aiee the mental pain!

Anyway. The one fun thing that did happen today.. I finally finished, and delivered, the so called Corrupt K cups. P came over to say thanks when he saw the box. He came over a second time to say thanks for the so called flavours once he'd finally opened said box and saw what I did,and that it was more than just a mere box of coffee. (I'd opened up the bottom to put them in.. so it still looked sealed). He did also mention though that he was disappointed there was no baby Jesus related flavour, but that the Coffee with Jebus would do. He was very disappointed at the inclusion of  happy flavours. lol. He also said he wouldn't be able to drink them. Well that's nice. Guess he liked em. I guess that was pretty fun.. Common though.. Ray of fucking sunshine?? He said he had a problem with the words "ray" and "Sunshine" but at least they made him angry, so perhaps that was ok. Anyway. Yea. Fun. K. That's it. I'm out for now. I was just really surprised he didn't mention the Star Wards flavour! I was sure that was the best one.

Anway. If I die before I wake.. please know that I'll be sincerely very happy about it. Over and out.

Damn... I'm good?

My halls throat lozenge said , (or simply stated on the packaging,  ... it does not have a lung and vocal system..) "Impress yourself  today".

While I do admit to finding this increasingly used marketing ploy to make one feel more attached to a brand or product on a  more personal level amusing,  this "personalization" of store bought kaka (it's been used in yoga, beer and coke and now halls and apparently and who knows what else..) I'm not falling for it. This is no more personal than falling in love with your tech because it wakes you up almost faithfully every day… still.. we humans have ever been suckers for "cute".. it's why we allowed our infants to survive their childhood, making us into sleep deprived and broke slaves despite being greedy little ambling psychopaths, to say nothing of their inborn skills at destroying women's bodies and marriages since the dawn of humanity. I digress. And ramble. And holy hell am I gifted at writing run on sentences. Sue me.

Even if I wanted to follow this little wrappers instructions, the lack of specificity makes it a tad hard. Impress myself?? Like.. RIGHT NOW?? In general?  Before I die? All the frigging time? Jeez.. it's a lot of pressure. If the recent past is permissible as material,  then I guess this could work in relation to my email / talk with P.. I got an awesome "Yay you did good things" email.. regards to some stuff I did on the weekend. Mainly typing till my wrists wanted to disown me. I was mildly please with myself for figuring out some formatting issues, but any monkey with 10 good fingers, the ability to read and an internet connection could do that. I'm not so sure I impressed myself there. I guess we could go for the thought that this seems to be the first job where there's some meager semblance of "increasing responsibilities" that I'm moderately successful at. Still.. am I impressed with that?? It's a frigging call center.. you can't even pretend there's any rocket science happening. Not even remotely. Not on a bus.. not in a plane... wait.. um.. as I was saying.. 

I think I'm more impressed with the control I somehow manage to exert to not giving into the whims in my head, telling me I should find ways to make work a little more fun. A comic of Calvin and Hobbes comes to mind.. Calvin states.. "It's too quiet in here".. and two panes later is filling a water gun. Bringing such a scenario to work.. now that would be fun. 

So perhaps in this way I impress myself on a daily basis. ..What else could my lame personage find worth in lately? How about.. I held my new baby nephew without dropping him yesterday. Didn't even make him cry! Lucky little tyke. I count that as impressive. Does that count event though it was yesterday??? I was mighty impressed with him, but again, that was mostly my sister's doing.. Or do I still have to find a way to impress myself today??

Random Thought caused by a co-workers grumblings: Do people hold onto anger and contempt because if they aren't noticeably sour it somehow means that they accept their crappy situation??If you walk around fairly happy, in a good mood, though being discontent with some other aspect of your life, does that mean you're less likely to intervene on your own account of your sucky life? Why can't we all be happy? Cause we'd never improve or strive?? Is this true?? I don't' think so.. So shut your whine-howl, be happy, and change things while doing so. What a revelation.. you can happily go about your discontents without dragging along a little gloom-cloud behind you. (fyi.. Happiness is... having an unavoidable fart come out in a crowded and fast moving area, like the subway stairs, where no one will ever know it was you. Try and tell me you've NEVER done this!)

So there's a new goal.. to happily go about resolving one's discontent. Boo yakah!! I think that thought might just squeak onto the  "intelligence-o-meeter" under the  "Just Barely Sentient" rating. So... so there! .. Halls wrapper!  I've impressed myself for today. And with that, I end our relationship, and toss you in the garbage. I say good-day!

Till next time.. this is your ray of fucking sunshine signing off!

**Adendum - I just realized.. the letter I got from P today... it was almost like a blog post from him, in that it had just a touch of lovely wacky to it. I feel like he wrote me my very own P Blog.. like.. it's a signed piece of art.. or .. short story signed by the author.. it's so very special! (Note: that should read in a sarcastically sincere kids cartoon voice). I 'll keep it's electronic body forever n' ever. *Sniffles and snot!

Warning: TMI involving my wishful love live below!

I wish my brain were half as useful as it used to be. Oh wait.. It never was very good at remembering much. 

Two things happened today that I was going to comment on, but sadly I can remember neither of them.

So.. instead  of those marvelous recounts, I guess I'll just meander aimlessly until my neurons cough up aforementioned memories. 

OH yes!!! Item numeral uno!!! (Damn that was quick! Gotta do that from now on.)

I'm not sure I've yet mentioned it on here or not.. but the guy I'd had a little bit of a highschoolgirl-force crush on... the tall cute guy at work.. well of course.. I started out thinking he was quite fine. He did flirt with me.. at one point saying "I'm the biggest" while walking away.. and commenting that the new closet was going to be our make-out room.. (I've noticed he has a habit of dealing his so called zingers whilst on the retreat..) and there is no doubt he was referring to his cock. Which .. is just mean to say to a girl that's now been 6 months and counting since last playmate, and a mostly unavailable one at that. 

So.. yes.. Mr. Tall, thickly built cutie walks around claiming he was "the biggest"? My mind went into overdrive. My poor vibrator is still reeling.. trying to figure out just what the heck is going on..

Slowly over the next two weeks.. small things happened that unfortunately lowered my opinion of him. 

I noticed he "borrowed" a lot of items.. including food.. and never seemed to pay back. I overheard him on the phone asking to extend a loan. Then once saw him looking through the work fridge, as he had no food at home apparently. I wonder if he's supporting a couple of kids somewhere.. cute.. big guy like that.. who seems to enjoy hot ladies like he does.. I wouldn't be surprised. I overheard him talking to.. someone.. saying that he could tell some random woman sported a shaved beaver by looking at her pants.  

And.. uh.. yeah. WHAT THE MELTING FUDGESICLE IS HE DOING noticing shit like that?? Apparently, Scorpios are sex craved (slight exaggeration) but oh my fu-bar!! A. lost it on him one day for texting her, calling him a creeper.. I guess now I see she had the right of it. Yikes!!

So the clincher?? Yesterday I worked an evening shift with him. I arrived before him, and I'd just bought two boxes of cookies from Shoppers as they were $2 instead of $5+. I later bummed a smoke from him, he did owe me one. And I thought it odd that he asked.. "are you going right now?"... This was about a 3rd the way through the evening shift. He took off right at the end of shift. About 5 minutes after, I went to help myself to the cookies I'd just bought. Low and behold (you know where this is going..) one ENTIRE BOX was gone. I highly doubt that the other two who'd arrived as relief would have gone in there in the first 5 minutes of their shift to search the cupboards and steal cookies with 3 other people in the place. 

And so.. we have our pathetic little food thief. I'm keeping it to myself. I wish I knew his circumstances, I wish I could help him out knowledge-wise.. but I guess there's no reason to go there. 

Still. Holy shit! So from dreamy Superman-ish icon I very much wanted to dance in bed and all over the house with,  to... lowly pathetic womanizing cookie-robber. Oh sweet .. disappointing surprise. I wonder what his overall life path is.. what he's "working" on. I  imagine he's none too happy in life at this point. OH to be a yellow ajah of the mind. I should have been a counselor. It'll hard not to be odd around him now. Or call him Cookie Monster...

Now then.. there was some other curious thing that happened today.. trying to remember what it might have been. I woke up, spent a good part of the morning being gloriously lazy in bed. Eventually got up, tidied up a bit (though you'd never know it) and went to buy some fiddle strings and a music book, and then to Best Buy to return the laptop. Somewhere in there, I witnessed something odd and vaguely interesting. Can't for the life of me remember what it was though. Curses!

K. That's enough. 

You're not worth a title!

BTW...

Another thing I"m now permitting myself to do.

Let my inner slut grow. Here's another life goal.. I've conjured up in my twisted little head what I feel to be a rather delightful adult comic. I have the main characters generally flushed out.. now comes the pleasure of learning to draw them. For all I know.. my theme and story has been done before. Oh well..
I'm really looking for the opportunity to draw some lovely creatures, and hope others will enjoy it as well. Just need a pseudo name...