Damn... I'm good?

My halls throat lozenge said , (or simply stated on the packaging,  ... it does not have a lung and vocal system..) "Impress yourself  today".

While I do admit to finding this increasingly used marketing ploy to make one feel more attached to a brand or product on a  more personal level amusing,  this "personalization" of store bought kaka (it's been used in yoga, beer and coke and now halls and apparently and who knows what else..) I'm not falling for it. This is no more personal than falling in love with your tech because it wakes you up almost faithfully every day… still.. we humans have ever been suckers for "cute".. it's why we allowed our infants to survive their childhood, making us into sleep deprived and broke slaves despite being greedy little ambling psychopaths, to say nothing of their inborn skills at destroying women's bodies and marriages since the dawn of humanity. I digress. And ramble. And holy hell am I gifted at writing run on sentences. Sue me.

Even if I wanted to follow this little wrappers instructions, the lack of specificity makes it a tad hard. Impress myself?? Like.. RIGHT NOW?? In general?  Before I die? All the frigging time? Jeez.. it's a lot of pressure. If the recent past is permissible as material,  then I guess this could work in relation to my email / talk with P.. I got an awesome "Yay you did good things" email.. regards to some stuff I did on the weekend. Mainly typing till my wrists wanted to disown me. I was mildly please with myself for figuring out some formatting issues, but any monkey with 10 good fingers, the ability to read and an internet connection could do that. I'm not so sure I impressed myself there. I guess we could go for the thought that this seems to be the first job where there's some meager semblance of "increasing responsibilities" that I'm moderately successful at. Still.. am I impressed with that?? It's a frigging call center.. you can't even pretend there's any rocket science happening. Not even remotely. Not on a bus.. not in a plane... wait.. um.. as I was saying.. 

I think I'm more impressed with the control I somehow manage to exert to not giving into the whims in my head, telling me I should find ways to make work a little more fun. A comic of Calvin and Hobbes comes to mind.. Calvin states.. "It's too quiet in here".. and two panes later is filling a water gun. Bringing such a scenario to work.. now that would be fun. 

So perhaps in this way I impress myself on a daily basis. ..What else could my lame personage find worth in lately? How about.. I held my new baby nephew without dropping him yesterday. Didn't even make him cry! Lucky little tyke. I count that as impressive. Does that count event though it was yesterday??? I was mighty impressed with him, but again, that was mostly my sister's doing.. Or do I still have to find a way to impress myself today??

Random Thought caused by a co-workers grumblings: Do people hold onto anger and contempt because if they aren't noticeably sour it somehow means that they accept their crappy situation??If you walk around fairly happy, in a good mood, though being discontent with some other aspect of your life, does that mean you're less likely to intervene on your own account of your sucky life? Why can't we all be happy? Cause we'd never improve or strive?? Is this true?? I don't' think so.. So shut your whine-howl, be happy, and change things while doing so. What a revelation.. you can happily go about your discontents without dragging along a little gloom-cloud behind you. (fyi.. Happiness is... having an unavoidable fart come out in a crowded and fast moving area, like the subway stairs, where no one will ever know it was you. Try and tell me you've NEVER done this!)

So there's a new goal.. to happily go about resolving one's discontent. Boo yakah!! I think that thought might just squeak onto the  "intelligence-o-meeter" under the  "Just Barely Sentient" rating. So... so there! .. Halls wrapper!  I've impressed myself for today. And with that, I end our relationship, and toss you in the garbage. I say good-day!

Till next time.. this is your ray of fucking sunshine signing off!

**Adendum - I just realized.. the letter I got from P today... it was almost like a blog post from him, in that it had just a touch of lovely wacky to it. I feel like he wrote me my very own P Blog.. like.. it's a signed piece of art.. or .. short story signed by the author.. it's so very special! (Note: that should read in a sarcastically sincere kids cartoon voice). I 'll keep it's electronic body forever n' ever. *Sniffles and snot!