En-guard maggoty misbegotten magots!
For today will be a dull post indeed!
I have not much in particular to write about.. but yet still I feel like taking up this infinitesimal amount of space on the interweb, as well as these sliced seconds from your life. You'll never get them back!
Besides.. what else were you going to do with those moments?? Watch monkey porn?? But of course you were! And yes.. it does exists.. ever watched nature shows with your grandparents?? I have. I've seen all kinds of animal kingdom porn. Doubt they pay them animals much for their fine performances. What if human porn were like nature porn??
Great shot.. get a little grab in there.. yup.. now do some butt slapping.. and cut! That's a wrap. Great job Tostito and Marmalade.. here's your 5 bananas!
As you can see.. I"m in a fantastic mood!
What? You're just dying to know why? Well. yeesh. No need to kill yourself.. of. spew out your intestines all over my blog in anticipation.. though seriously.. if you do ever find yourself spewing intestinal organs.. please get tested for ebola.. or rather.. leave the city, dig your self a grave..and please stay the F away from me!! In the meantime.. here's my story:
Maybe I'll make you wait a bit.. it'll add to the excitement but I can't promise it'll do anything for the entertainment value of my story. I never did claim any responsibility for that.
K.. story.. really this time... So... looking to change my life. Obviously some of this unwanted weight has to go.. and the thoughts of my quad skates keep seeping into my mind. They seep.. and then they pulsate.. throbbing.. they speak to me in whispered voices.."you want to wear us.. you miss us.. you want to skate. .. "to which I finally the other day thought.. hell yes!! I do miss my skates!!
Rewinding about 3 or more months ago, I was talking with someone who told me about Loco Derby.. low contact/low commitment .. I'm sorry... was that invented just for me?? I think so! Now if only they added in .. low fee. Well..supposedly you can't have it all. Though when I do start reffing, it will be no fee. Whee!
I finally found the guts to get out to a practice tonight. I almost chickened. I'm good at that, especially when worried about future commitment, regularity and not being able to show up.
Anyway, finally went out.. and had a damn hootin' blast. There were only 8 peeps there, including coach / ref. So there weren't too many bodies to smash into, and they took it really easy on me and the other newb. I'm in love all over again. Nice peeps.. even though they look scary.. and best of all, it's on Friday nights. So.. derby then beers. Don't mind if I do!
And between the GTars and the Rollergettes.. they have the best logo and colour IMHO.. sassy cartoon, main colour blue. Bring it! Even got a compliment on my name (Coco Pow!). Always a thrill. Anyway. So.. as long as my hip doesn't ass out, and I don't wimp out.. hopefully I'm back in. Once I know what the hell I'm doing, then perhaps someday I will sass up and play for real. It'd be hawt to be out there on a track for sure.
Oh.. and the glorious smooth ovals?? No silly.. I'm not talking about anyone's anus.. .. besides.. I don't think those are smooth.. I'm referring instead to the polished cement floor that often serves as a derby track. Aw shit.. my blog almost got exciting eh?? Sorry to disappoint.
And in other news?? Guys are dicks. Except for Mullins, he's a sweet little cutie. Anyway.
I'm getting bored of typing, so.. I think I'll go find some other stimulating passtime.. like.. seeing how fast my brain will liquefy in my blender.. or drinking a bottle of crazy ass hot sauce.. or maybe I'll just have to go and try to deliver random boxed up stuff I don't' want.. and deliver them as "parcels" to my neighbors, and see if I can convince them they owe my duty charges. Woot! Don't try this in Ameerrica kids.. you'd get shot!!.
Till next time.
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